The holidays are hard on people’s balance and wholeness whether you love them or dread them.  Many people have been asking for guidance with handling relationships during ascension.  This season gives me a good opportunity for addressing some of those concerns.

We are ascending, and as we come into greater unity with Inner Wisdom and Higher Self, many people begin to notice how other people can be draining or else disturb their inner harmony and wholeness.  Temporarily many people withdraw from others and spend more time alone.  But once we gain skill at maintaining our wholeness, we are better able to enjoy other people again.  The holidays challenge us to stay whole while we enjoy our family and friends or avoid them as the case may be!  Here are some tools and ideas that will help you to enjoy others while caring for yourself over the holidays or any time at all.

Think of a forest, and of the trees, each standing tall, anchored into the Earth and the sky.  They don’t lean toward each other just to be close.  Unless there is a difficulty accessing the sun which requires them to lean, they grow straight.  There is, in the forest, a sense of community and of mutual support and harmony.  But it’s not because they lean on each other usually.  It is because they are each whole.

People, on the other hand, are often inclined to rely on others for their sustenance and comfort.  If others aren’t there or are hateful, they can even whither and die.  This dynamic is very old-world and built on social expectations which support our dysfunctional ways of life.  People are not generally encouraged to be independent and different.  Even people who think of themselves as alternative, seem to want those they love to be like they are.  True independence challenges the beliefs and assumptions others hold about life.  This is the dysfunctionality I mentioned as I see it.

As we ascend, we are learning to be more like trees, each holding ourselves in wholeness and generating life force for ourselves. We are being guided by our Inner Wisdom rather than other’s expectations.  Most of my readers and students are increasing this ability.  But when we return to our families of origin, we are drawn back to habits built deep within our developing bodies, emotions, minds, and egos.  There is an unconscious relaxing into those familiar dynamics, and along with that reminders of how though it feels comfortable at first, it can become disappointing, draining or toxic.  On subsequent days people may find themselves wondering why they feel down or like they’ve lost inner compass.

Often over the holidays, spiritual disciplines can be put on the shelf, thinking we are on holiday and shouldn’t have to do them.  This is exactly the cause of many problems people have.  When facing our families and childhood habits we need our disciplines to stay whole.  Like trees, when we maintain our inner unity, can enjoy harmony with our families and friends while still remaining whole.  In this way we generate unconditional love and new world energies within our family and social relationships.  We become light bearers, as we strengthen our wholeness and truth.  Not so much because we teach or minister to others, but because we are a presence of unconditional love and wholeness.

Regardless, if we are people who love or dread the holidays, we can use this opportunity to strengthen our wholeness.  This is true whether we choose to remain alone or to join in gatherings.  We can see this wholeness as a gift we give to ourselves, to deepen our commitment to being who we really are.  We can invest in building that most primal relationship between our human ego and our eternal divine self.

I prepare for the holidays by deepening my spiritual focus and strength.  I know the extra social activity will challenge my balance and I am committed to remaining whole for myself and for my work for the world.  I also am extra careful with sugar and alcohol because these create chemical imbalances and toxicity which can create permeability in my body and aura to bacteria, but also to people’s energies.  Many of you are also natural empaths.  The feelings and energies of others can be hard to protect yourself from.  Go very light on these substances so you can enjoy yourself but remain whole and balanced.

If you would like suggestions for deepening your personal wholeness through the experience of the holidays, here are some I can offer you.  Pay special attention to #6!  This is a big one for many people.

1 – Do your daily “setup”.  By that I mean, do your spiritual work to prepare yourself for your day by strengthening your inner unity of body, ego, soul, and spirit.

• Tools I can offer for that are: Eve’s 3 Most Important Things Videos in my online video gallery. Also, Sacred Space Meditation on MP3 in my online store.  See Resources below to find these.
• Angel Self and Angel Vents – See the post An Angel for Everything from July 1, 2021.
• I often do my morning spiritual work as I am doing physical exercise like walking or on a repetative exercise machine that requires little focus.  This can be optimal for both empowerment and time efficiency! The extra grounding of the exercise strengthens the unity of spirit and Earth within me and holds me strong throughout the day.

2 – Prepare in advance for events, by noticing your feelings and addressing them in ways that make you feel stronger, more whole, able to take care of yourself and also have fun.

• Tools I can offer are: Power Animal, or Inner Child both on MP3 in my online store. See Resources below this post.

3 – Set yourself a limit on sugar and alcohol that you know you can handle and still maintain your wholeness, health and personal integrity.  The discomfort of all the buttons pushed in family gatherings makes you want to indulge those temporary desires for chemical comfort.  However, the comfort they offer is illusory and often leads to shame, self-hatred and loss of wholeness.

• Have an alternative that satisfies without doing you harm. I like sparkling water with lime or with fruit juice.  It feels and tastes fun and does no harm.  NA beer is another alternative that can satisfy.

4 – If you have food sensitivities, be sure to bring enzymes to help you digest what you might normally avoid.  And go moderate on those things, eating more of what you know is good for you.

5 – When people start pushing your buttons, remove yourself temporarily to the bathroom.  Comfort yourself and step back into the wholeness of your daily “setup” mentioned in #1.  Let your power animals sound off inside of you.  Invite your angel self to vent.  Give yourself an inner hug.  When you feel good about yourself again, able to unconditionally love yourself, you won’t need to react anymore.  You can always make an excuse and leave if it isn’t good for you to be there.

6 – Watch out for the desire to be understood and approved of by family and friends.  You are a unique individual and you don’t need their understanding and approval if you are invested in being true to yourself.  It’s time to stop letting others have a voice in our choices when they are not in unconditional love or our best interest.  Trust yourself.

• People often think that being true to their self requires sharing everything with everyone they love. However, when you are cutting edge in a world movement like ascension at this time, most people will not have a clue. Or maybe they are traditionally religious, and you are not. Either way, they may even feel threatened by your ideas.  This may cause them to be defensive, disrespectful, to ignore, or be negative about yours beliefs.
• Not sharing everything can be a gift to yourself and to others. It allows each of you to stand in your own beliefs and not compete.  There is no right or wrong, there is only the unique individual path you are on.  Trust yourself and protect yourself when needed.
• I love growing my skill to sense what others can handle of my out of the box self and only sharing that with them. This does not mean I am repressing myself.  I am not changing myself at all, I am being whole inside.  It means I am caring for them.  Like you would avoid certain subjects with a child, you can avoid certain subjects with those who are not ready for them.  This may be boring, but focusing on what is mutual can be quite satisfying.  Save your gifts for those who can value them.  But let your wholeness and light shine through your unconditional love for people wherever they are at.
• This approach is adult. It is our wounded inner child self that wants to have the approval and adulation of family.  It is so hurtful when you open yourself fully and are wounded by their response.  Be the adult in your life.  Protect your inner child by staying the grown up in relation to your parents and other relatives and old friends.  Make a conscious choice of what you can safely share and stick with that.  Then if you feel to give someone a deeper peek into what makes you tick, you can do that if it feels worth the risk.  Know that if someone reacts, it isn’t you there are reacting to.  It is almost always their own fear and vulnerability that makes them be disrespectful.
• Just because people can’t see the world the way you do, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. It is a statement about their own limitations and fears.  It is not unconditional love, but there may still be love for you.  Respect the differences and take care of yourself.

This is the season of Winter Solstice.  It is the time when the world is dark and the light within us shines brighter because of it.  Invest in your own light and you become a gift to the world.

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